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Our
ideas about what is gifted behavior for a boy or for a girl are imbued
with society's notions of appropriate gender identity. Gifted boys and
girls need to learn to cope with their giftedness while careful1y following
prescribed gender roles if they want to avoid the rejection of their communities.
How were these gender roles shaped, and how did we get our ideas about
what gifted girls and gifted boys should be like? This is the story of
how these ideas came to be, how they shape the lives of our bright children1
and what we can do to help gifted boys and girls break free of the stereotypes
and live their own dreams.
Sigmund Freud's (1933) theory
of gender identity development is still one of the most influential theories,
despite its lack of empirical support. Theories which survive as robustly
as this one in the absence of data to support them almost always reflect
deeply held societal beliefs. Freud first outlined the development of
boys' gender identities in terms of the Oedipal struggle. The little boy,
feeling inferior to his father, falls in love with his mother and dreams
of marrying her and destroying his father. His greatest fear is that his
father will destroy his masculinity. He resolves his Oedipal complex by
identifying with his father, breaking with his mother, and gaining a mature
gender identity which is inevitably described by Freud and his followers
as a male who has accepted all things strong and aggressive and rejected
all things pliant and receptive, like the love of literature and the quiet
life of the scholar.
Freud also gave us the idea
that girls and women are incomplete men. The little girl, he said, is
a "little man." Girls learn at an early age that compared to
boys, they are not as complete, and want to be like boys: this was the
famous "penis envy." They develop an Electra complex: in which
they fall in love with their fathers in order to be associated with his
power. Therefore, they remain attached to their mother, and develop the
feminine characteristics of passivity, obscession with beauty, and timidity
which will make them attractive to men.
Despite the hostility with
which the psychoanalytic establishment greeted disagreement, Karen Horney
(1939) disputed this model of gender identity development. Unlike Freud,
she did not believe that gender identity was biologically determined,
and she resisted forcefully the idea of penis envy. Not only did girls
not feel a deficit of a penis, she said, boys may actually feel a womb
envy! Male overachievement, she claimed, might be an overcompensation
for the inability to reproduce. Nevertheless, Freud's view continued to
hold sway, and found its way into popular culture in depictions of castrating
women achievers who are miserable until they find the love of a male and
settle down.
I would not go into such detail
here about a theory which has received little support and which has been
thoroughly disproven if it had not had such profound influence on the
ways in which we teach and guide gifted boys and girls. For with Freud's
insistence on the repudiation of the feminine as the norm for masculine
maturity, and his relegation of female achievers to the ranks of penis
enviers, he helped to create the train wreck that so often occurs in our
culture when boys try to cope with being intelligent and masculine, and
girls try to cope with being intelligent and feminine.
Lewis Terman (Terman and Oden,
1935) began his work with gifted children as a way of validating difficult
items for the Stanford Binet intelligence test. The original Binet Simon
test differentiated between normal and subnormal children; the expectation
was that the new instrument would also differentiate the normal from the
gifted. Terman chose for his subjects California school children who were
high achievers with strong academic potential. These were second and third
generation children of the Gold Rush, middle class daughters and sons
of a sunny prosperous state. The process of teacher selection insured
that these young people would be mostly white, mostly personable, and
well in keeping with preferred gender behaviors. Terman, after much testing
with his newly developed instrument for measuring intelligence, had come
to perceive most of his high scoring students as healthy) well-adjusted,
and achieving. This experience may not have been his only motivation for
promoting this observation. I would like to suggest that he was also trying
to re-masculinize the construct of genius in the face of the commonly
held belief that gifted boys were effeminate, sickly, and weak. A reading
of his first studies of gifted boys will show an obscession with the boys'
manliness: he reported with pride their chest widths, their development
of secondary sexual characteristics, and their greater height than average
boys. He developed a "masculinity index" to measure their play
activities.
Therefore, a new stereotype
of the gifted boy was born, of the well adjusted, athletic, popular guy.
Leta Hollingworth (1926), who, in New York City, was working with an even
brighter cohort of gifted students was not able to confirm this image.
She found a number of highly gifted boys who were not well adjusted and
who suffered from feelings of difference and rejection. Her concerns went
virtually unheard, and her books went out of print until the last decade.
The stereotype of the vigorous gifted boy was so powerful that well into
the 1980's it was difficult for psychotherapists who were dealing with
gifted males' underachievement and self--destructiveness to receive credibility
for their concerns.
What has always been extraordinary
to me about the work of Lewis Terman was that from the very beginning,
girls were included in the study. At that time, much of the study of intelligence
was the study of eminent men. No author, even women authors such as Catherine
Cox, would make even trifling attempts to identify accomplished women
for decades to come. Nevertheless, Terman made efforts to correct item
bias in the Stanford Binet so that as many girls as boys would be identified,
and he went so far as to obscure the drop in girls' IQ scores between
11 and 17 by collapsing their means scores with the boys, yielding a nonsignificant
decline in IQ for the entire group. Was this because Terman's own experience
as the academic advisor to a generation of brilliant female psychologists
convinced him of female intellectual equality? Was it because of his co-author
Melita Oden's convictions? Was it simply because American girls were already
constructing a new world in which female intelligence must be reckoned
with? We may never know.
It is all the more puzzling
because while the construct of genius which emerged from Terman's work
restricted the gender appropriate behaviors of gifted males, it actually
expanded-a little ¾ the possibilities for gifted females. Terman
and Oden made it clear that gifted girls were much more like gifted boys
in their interests, play behaviors, and plans than they were like gifted
girls. They stressed, however, that the girls still had "feminine"
interests such as doll play and reading girls' magazines. In short, they
were taking pains to create a new androgynous model for female giftedness,
in a society permeated by the belief that giftedness was incompatible
with femininity.
According to psychoanalytic
theory, these gifted girls were suffering from penis envy and had unresolved
Electra complexes. According to the societal preferred gender roles, these
girls were in danger of sacrificing their futures as wives and mothers.
Therefore, the modest attempt
by Terman and Oden to suggest that gifted girls might be intellectually
achieving AND feminine had little power in a society in which combination
became untenable after puberty. Tomboys, or "little men' have always
been more acceptable to American society than feminine boys; however,
puberty marks the point at which girls are forcefully taught the dangers
of failing to be feminine. It was clear, from Terman and Oden's later
research findings, that most of the gifted women had yielded to preferred
gender roles. By midlife, half of the women subjects were homemakers,
and most of the rest were in traditional women's occupations, with elementary
and secondary teaching being the leading careers. The authors said, in
describing the occupational attainments of men, "The study has been
limited to men because of the lack of a yardstick by which to estimate
the success of women. By means of rating techniques, it is possible to
identify fairly accurately outstanding chemists, astronomers, mathematicians
or psycologists, but no one has yet devised a method for identifying the
best housewives and mothers, and this is what the vast majority of women
aspire to be. The few women who go out for a professional career do so
with one eye on the preferred alternative. Those who make no pretense
of wanting a career are willing to accept any reasonably pleasant and
respectable employment that will bridge the gap between school and marriage.
For some the gap will never be bridged, and the result is that there are
highly gifted women working as secretaries, filing clerks, elementary
teachers, and telephone operators. (Terman and Oden, 1935, p.150).
The news recently is full
of the glad tidings that girls have caught up with boys in math and science
achievement and that the gender gap has been closed (Phillips, 1998.)
Women are filling the ranks of the professions and entering high status,
high salary jobs. Girls are more aggressive, boys are more passive. Talk
show authors bemoan the idea that attention to concerns of girls and women
has impeded the education and guidance of boys. Sex role stereotypes are
dead, they say, and now we must attend to the business of educating in
a gender free society. As is true with the reports of the ends of any
social trends that make people uncomfortable, these reports of the death
of the gender gap are greatly exaggerated. The gender gap is alive and
well in gifted education, in research about giftedness, and in the lives
of gifted girls and boys. Prescribed gender role behaviors that dominated
in the first part of this century continue to hold the power to bias education
and research, and to restrict the psychological and life choices of gifted
girls and boys, men and women.
In order to see how prescribed
gender roles, and unfounded assumptions continue to limit the choices
of gifted girls and boys, it is useful to examine common practices of
guidance and education at the various developmental stages. I call these
milestones and danger zones.
Both gifted girls and gifted
boys may be denied opportunities to develop early reading abilities, but
for different, gender based reasons. A common finding in the literature
is that girls are more likely than boys to be precocious readers (Kerr,
1997.) Girls in general read up to a year earlier than boys. It is also
a common finding that precocious readers do not necessarily go on to become
academically talented learners. However, it can also be readily observed
that the majority of American schools do not have any special provisions
for precocious readers. Most schools begin reading instruction at the
time when boys are ready; girls, particularly gifted girls may have already
passed the point of maximum interest and readiness. Because it is assumed
that the girls can wait for the boys to be ready, we may miss the opportunity
to transform reading precocity into academic talent in girls.
Equally destructive to boys
is the practice of kindergarten red-shirting. This is the choice made
by parents to delay boys' entry into kindergarten as long as possible
so that they will be bigger and more successful in sports. The practice
appears to be growing throughout the US, particularly in districts where
a wide range of entry ages is allowed. It is probably particularly harmful
to gifted boys, who are likely to become bored behemoths if left till
seven years old to learn the things they were so eager to learn at five.
The idea that a gifted boy needs to be big and athletic no matter what
the cost to his educational development is a good example of the fear
of
the effeminate intellectual.
Gifted boys learn very early
that if they are smart, they had better be smart and athletic; athletic
ability makes intelligence acceptable. The nonathletic gifted boy is doomed
to social rejection, and is labeled a nerd -- unless he discovers a special
talent for underachievement. Whereas underachievement in college and adulthood
is the specialty of gifted women, from late primary throughout the high
school years, it is the special province of gifted boys, who do underachievement
exceptionally well. Underachievement was the most common presenting problem
of gifted boys of eleven years and older brought to the Guidance Laboratory
for Gifted and Talented at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Nick Colangelo
and Kerr (1993) found in our study of exttreme underachievers that they
were 90% boys, mostly white, from large high schools in affluent suburbs.
The proportion of young men to young women in our special Counseling Laboratory
program for underachievers was six to one. Although there are many causes
for underachievement -- see the diagnostic decision tree in my Handbook
for Counseling Gifted and Talented - there is ample evidence that one
of them is male social coping with gender identity expectations. In contexts
in which achievement is associated with nerdhood and weakness, underachievement
becomes a way of asserting independence, strength, and masculinity. The
disassociation of the gifted boy from traditional achievement allows him
to maintain his gender identity at the expense of his future goals. In
the early years of underachievement, gifted males often have what I call
the "Bartleby Syndrome", after the clerk in Melville's short
story who pleasantly and quietly repeated the phrase "I prefer not
to" to all requests, including at the end, even suggestions related
to his own survival. Bartleby began by saying I prefer not to requests
that he count money or copy figures; he ended by preferring not to eat
or to seek shelter. The exasperation of parents and teachers is immense
precisely because of the gentleness and passivity of the refusal; I believe
that the boys themselves cannot tell us why they must blindly obey the
imperative to avoid compliance and identification with intellectual achievement
at all cost.
Yet, the desire for learning
and knowledge does not go away as the gifted male underachiever ages--
it simply goes underground. Nick Colangelo and I studied students who
had scored in the 95th percentile on the ACT and yet were achieving below
a C in high school. These were truly closeted intellectuals However, the
outward appearance of older gifted male underachievers is often that of
a sociopath -- the rebel without a cause. in fact, in a dissertation by
Cathann Arcenaux (1991) at the University of Iowa, she discovered that
the personality characteristics of gifted male underachievers were very
similar to those of sociopaths: high impulsivity, high defendence, low
harm avoidance. What distinguished them from this group was a high need
for understanding or intellectuality: the classic Holden Caulfield profile
of the tough talking underachiever with a hunger for meaning.
Even gifted boys who continue
to be achieving in school seem to become more passive with time, and currently
are less involved in leadership activities than previous generations.
Curiously, as girls begin to take the lead in high school organizations,
boys take flight. Over 80% of high school leadership positions are now
held by girls (Fiscus, 1997.) It may be that, just as status and salary
of an occupation go down as women enter in large numbers, so the status
of high school activities go down as girls take over.
For girls, the pattern is
different. In my book, Smart Girls, I compared gifted girls to flowers
that grow in the spring. Gifted girls' urge for achievement is not only
not quelled, it is encouraged. Since the advent of the women's movement,
efforts to create programs to encourage gifted girls to greater aspirations
and achievement have proliferated. The programs have been so successful
that gifted girls now have aspirations very similar to gifted boys throughout
high school, and even spend more time and effort planning their careers
than boys (Gassin, Kelly& Feldhusen). However, to my mind, the grace
period in which girls are allowed to aspire to leadership and to achieve
identity through their accomplishments has simply been extended upwards
to the college years. Because according to the research of Holland and
Eisenhart (1991) as well as research on high school valedictorians by
Arnold (1994), a culture of romance which is virulently inimical to female
achievement still thrives in coeducational colleges and universities.
By the time a gifted young woman has graduated from college, she is likely
to have lowered her estimate of her own intelligence, to have changed
majors to a less challenging major, and to have lowered her career aspirations.
She is much more likely than her gifted male peers to have abandoned her
math and science interests, no matter how strong they once were, and is
less likely to pursue graduate training in these fields. After college,
she is more likely to follow her boyfriend or husband to his job than
to have him follow her. She is the one most likely to have major child
rearing responsibilities. And although it is now the norm, gifted women
often combine work and family, gifted women continue to be more likely
to give up fu1l time work for part-time, and to give up leadership positions
than are gifted men (Kerr, 1997.)
Although the gifted male in
college has not given up his math and science interests, he is in danger
of giving up something much more important: his opportunity to choose
a career based on his most deeply held values. Most gifted men, no matter
how strong their interests in creative arts, languages, humanities or
literature, have given up these interests because they do not seem lucrative
- or perhaps manly- enough. (Colangelo and Kerr, 1991.) The majority of
gifted men choose college majors from among the same four areas: engineering,
pre-med, pre--law, and business. The unimaginative majors of gifted men
often lead to dissatisfaction in adulthood, but little hope of changing
careers because of the enormous investment of time and money that goes
into higher status occupations. Gifted men may end up overworked and unavailable
to family as they pursue what they have been trained to pursue: status,
power, and riches.
By the time gifted males and
females have reached adulthood, the development of their talent has been
profoundly shaped by their gender. For different reasons, they have often
compromised away the promise of their giftedness. Except for those boys
and girls who have the courage and support to challenge gender roles,
most gifted boys and girls do succumb to society's image of what achievement
constitutes.
A telling example comes from
our recent study of gifted students' perfect future day fantasies: their
favorite vision of what they might be doing in ten years. For twenty years
I have been sitting behind the one-way mirror observing groups of students
as they discuss their dreams and goals with their counselors and each
other. My favorite technique for assessing students' expectations about
their own future is a visualization exercise called "The Perfect
Future Day Fantasy." In this fantasy, students imagine a day from
morning to midnight ten years in their own future. They are asked to imagine
where they are living, what they're wearing, with whom they are living,
and what kind of work they are doing. A typical college male's fantasy
goes something like this: "I wake up and get in my car -- a really
nice rebuilt '67 Mustang-- and then I go to work, I think I'm some kind
of a manager of a computer firm, and then I go home and when I get there,
my wife is there at the door (she has a really nice figure) she has a
drink for me, and she's made a great meal. We watch TV or maybe play with
the kids." Here is the typical college female's fantasy: "I
wake up and my husband and I get in our twin Jettas and I go to the law
firm where I work, then after work, I go home and he's pulling up in the
driveway at the same time. We go in and have a glass of wine and we make
an omelet together and eat by candlelight. Then the nanny brings the children
in and we play with them till bedtime." What's wrong with this picture?
Women dream of dual career
bliss, while men still seem to nourish the hope that they might find a
woman who wants to stay home and take care of them and the children. Despite
extraordinary changes in the career expectations of women, many college
men have yet to acknowledge the changes in gender roles that women's expectations
imply. In an interesting case of whether the glass is 70% full or 30%
empty, Astin shows how the per cent of men who endorse the item, "The
activities of married women are best confined to the home and family,"
has dropped from 66.5% to 30.8%." The per cent of women who endorsed
this item changed from 44.3% in 1966 to 19% in 1996. Astin seems to praise
this as progress; however, the fact remains that three out of every ten
men that a college woman may meet may expect that after marriage she will
"confine" herself to caring for him and his children. It is
likely that even more men who publicly endorse equity in relationships
secretly wish for a more traditional lifestyle. On the other hand, college
women have as their goals romantic yet egalitarian relationships for which
they have no roadmaps.
Therefore, in both work and
relationships, gifted men and women may sabotage their own dreams by trying
to fit too well into the gender roles that have been prescribed for them.
As educators, we can prevent
these compromised dreams by helping both girls and boys to discover their
own meaning of femininity and masculinity, and by helping both girls and
boys to make their choices based on their most deeply held values. A workshop
called Values based Career Counseling helps both adolescents and college
age students to make decisions in this way (Kerr & Erb, 1991.) However,
teachers and parents can begin much earlier to help their children to
discover the work values that will give meaning to their lives. In addition,
both girls and boys can be helped to be achieving in order to accomplish
their own goals, rather than to accomplish the goals of others. Girls
need to continue to be encouraged to lead, but boys also need to be taught
that there is no shame in following a girl leader. Both gifted girls arid
boys need relationship education even more than they need sex education,
for bright women and men will need to learn to love and work together
in the future. Girls and boys can be taught to respect one anothers' goals
through the modeling of their teachers and parents.
The findings of the Happy Family
Study (Kerr, Gottfried, Chopp, and Cohn, in press) may have relevance
to understanding what families can do to promote children's freedom to
create their own identity and develop their unique gifts. This study interviewed
thirty bright students who tested in the ninetieth percentile and above
in their perceptions of their family's functioning. These bright, 19 year
old men and women were creative, goal-oriented, congenial and contented
people. They seemed satisfied with their gender identity and sexual orientation,
and comfortable with who they were. The families had a few important things
in common. Both the mother and the father spent a great deal of time at
home; sixty per cent of mothers and thirty five per cent of fathers were
at home. However, they worked out of the home in creative or individualistic
careers. The mothers and fathers modeled egalitarian relationships, and
supported one anothers' goals. They provided both safety and privacy in
their households; everyone did their own thing, and felt admired for their
talents and appreciated by the others. These families were from diverse
cultures, religions, and socioeconomic groups; but they had all created
lives in which men and women were valued equally, and gifts were nurtured
gently and generously.
Carol Tavris (1992), the noted
psychologist and researcher on gender says we need to focus on what it
would take to have a society based on the qualities we value in both sexes.
To do this, we must help our brightest children to discover their own
finest qualities, and nurture them in each other.
References
- Arcenaux, C. (1991) Personality
characteristics of gifted underachievers in college. Unpublished
dissertation. University of Iowa
Colangelo, N. & Kerr, B. A. (1993). A comparison of gifted underachievers
and gifted high achievers. Gifted Child Quarterly, 37, 4, 155-161.
Holland, D.C. & Eisenhart, M. A. (1990). Educated in romance:
women, achievement, and college culture. Chicago, IL: University
of Chicago.
Kerr, B. A. (1997) Smart Girls: Anew psychology of girls, women, and
giftedness. Phoenix, AZ: Gifted Psychology.
Kerr, B. A. & Erb, C. (1991) Career counseling with academically
talented students: Effects of a value based intervention, Journal
of Counseling
- Psychology, 38,
309-3 14.
- Kerr, B. A., Gottfried,
M.1 Chopp, C. & Cohn, S. (1n press) The happy family study:
Origins of creative jives. Creativity: A research journal.
Freud, S. (1933) New introductory lectures on psychoanalysis.
SE , 22, 129/
Gassin, E.A., Kelly; K1R., and Feldhusen, J. F. (1993). School
Counselor. 4,2, 90-95.
Horney, K. (1967) Feminine psychology. New York, NY: Norton.
Phillips, L. M. (1998) The girls' report. New York, NY: National
Council for Research on Women
Terman, L. & Oden, M. (193S). The promise of youth. Palo
Alto, CA: Stanford University Press.
Tavris, C. (1992) The mismeasure of woman: Why women are not the
better sex, the inferior sex, or the opposite sex. New York: Basic
Books.
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